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A short story of Lynn McFadden.  Hopefully not too short

But this boys and girls is how it all began.  A long time ago, in a land far away!

Yep, I really started out as a very cute kid.    While very young I fell in with a bad gang of ladies. But they treated me well and let me have my own gun, but no bullets.    Another gang wanted me to join them. They offered me my own gun AND bullets. I stayed with my old gang.    Needing a change, I join a Polish motorcycle club. Hell's Babushka's. They want me to gain 50 pounds, get uglier and cover with tatoos. Sorry guys.   Needing to distance myself from old associations, I went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico ... fishing. Got seasick.     But I ran into these really great guys. This is Me, Pablito and Timote    Thru conversations it became known that I was "Il Pilota"    They were in some sort of pharmaceutical business. They offered me a chance to make BIG Pesos     I told Timote that this taking pix was great, but shouldn't one of us be looking where we were going. I decided I needed a change of scenery ... fast.    An Irish pub seemed the ticket. But I drank all the profits.    The rastifarians had a good message but I spent a lot of my time zoned out. This ain't it.    Got me a fixer upper in Thailand. This could really be it.    I missed my roots and traveled back home ..... until it snowed. Dumb idea.    Went to Egypt where it didn't snow, and taught belly dancing. Didn't make much money, but it had it's moments.    I just wanted to go where no man had gone before. She said NO!    Maybe I really am a hippy and decided to try it again.    But duty called and Tony and W. asked me to join them in a planning session.     After all the planning I ever wanted to do, I decided the wilds of Malaysia may be the ticket.    My Malaysian / Chinese astrologer said I was nearing my real cosmos.    While awaiting my cosmos to arrive I met Commander Channa. She was an admirer of Jaques Costeau.    When arriving in Thailand ... low on funds, I saw an add for a part time prince. Hmmm    I decided that being a part time prince may be just the ticket    I even got Commander Channa a job as a fill in princess    What a great couple we made.    But like everything I grew weary of the long hours, and the clothes were really hot     I hit the beaches in Thailand and met a hobo who called himself boardwalk bobby.    Boardwalk Bobby was a thinker and had lots of great ideas. And some other ones as well.    Boardwalk knew this guy named Waheed Jon, and his cousin who had some camels. There has to be something here.    We started a used camel business they called Camelot. Catchy name but it never really went anywhere.    Now that's got a solid ring to it. Why would I become a Soldier of Fortune? .. But a woman of course!     Waiting outside Lucy's Tiger Den, a reputed soldier of fortune hangout. Maybe I'll get lucky?    After reading Soldier of Fortune magazine, I knew where my destiny lie and hopped the next Pakistan International Airline flight to Peshawar and on to Afghanistan.   Of all the luck, I happen upon the Afghan chapter of the Audabomb societe.    They invite me to their birdwatching clubhouse. Simple but tastefully decorated. Great guys.    Called my old friend Boardwalk Bobby and told him I had this great idea. Used armored personel carriers. And right away we found a good cheap one in Afghanistan, but needs some work!    We'll need an office. I find this great fixer upper. A bit of paint and ...... ?    What? You don't want a personnel carrier? We can put you into this camel for only 4999, no money down on approved credit. Hi kids!    A competitor posted this picture of me saying "would you buy a used armored personnel carrier OR camel from this man". I was ruined.    Did a short stint as an Egyptian God to get enough money to get home.    And finally, tired and broke, I got home for Christmas. How wonderful, but will it last?    ..... to be continued

 

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